


Bellum Magi

by AngstyChaosMagicUser



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Imported, Other, POV Second Person, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-09 16:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstyChaosMagicUser/pseuds/AngstyChaosMagicUser
Summary: You've lived your life without any significant power up until now - when a Messenger, the ones who grant wishes and elevate humans above those around them as magical girls - has come to you. You're set to change the world... Or have it change around you.It's 1200 of the Common Era, you're a new magical girl, and the world's on the brink of a new chapter.(Cross-posting of a quest on Sufficient Velocity. Will update when that does.)





	1. Initialization

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cross-posting of https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/bellum-magi-pmmm-au.55196/
> 
> Voting on the direction the story takes after each chapter can happen there.
> 
> There'll be a good amount of violence in this, and the possibility of the main character dying, or entering into romances, or killing people. But where it's going isn't entirely sure yet, because of the nature of the quest.

It's late in the day, the sun hovering low and red above the horizon. You'll need to go back home soon. You don't want to, though - home means responsibilities, your step mother lecturing you for being off somewhere daydreaming.

But, well…

Does it hurt, to dream? To look at the sky, and think of what if? The biggest dreamers are the most powerful people in the world, after all. The magicals, chosen to wield tremendous power and to rule. To shape the world to their whim. It's not so much that you want to be one of them - 

It's that they're really quite horrible at their jobs, and you're  _ sure _ you could do better than that.

You huff out a sigh and crack your neck, standing and brushing the dirt off yourself. Dreams are for later. Chores are for now, apparently, so you turn - 

And there's a little white animal.

It looks almost like a rabbit at first, but, no - 

That's a  _ messenger _ .

You pause, and a voice worms its way into your mind.  _ 'Hello,' _ says the messenger.  _ 'Would you like to make a contract with me?' _

Oh,  _ would _ you.


	2. 1a - Predawn

Your school is one of the good ones, and last year, before any of you were seven and therefore at the minimum age to wish, your teacher came before the girls' class and talked about  _ responsibility _ . How only the select few are chosen to wish. How it's important, to think of those other than yourself, for the magical girls are the guiding hand of the nation.

Your father talked about how the nation has a list of wishes they want people to make, when you got home that day. You even think you remember it.

But you're  _ much _ too excited to wait and go ask him.

You bite your lip, bouncing, taking a single moment to think - there'd been a lot of  _ stuff _ that would help people. Seeds of better crops, better medications, better ships and livestock and metal - 

But a lot of that… It's just stuff. You think the magical girls aren't that good at their jobs, anyways. Some of those things, of course people need them.

But maybe… 

"I have my wish," you tell the messenger.

It hops up to you, stares you in the eyes.  _ "That's great! With what hope will your soul gem shine?" _

You take a deep breath, and: "I wish for a book… A whole  _ bunch _ of books! With everything about medicine in them!" Books are good because other people can read them, otherwise you probably would've wished for just knowledge.

The messenger's eyes glow - okay that's a bit creepy but it's  _ magic _ \- and something washes over you. A light, and your clothes shimmer and are replaced. Your  _ magical girl dress _ because you are a  _ magical girl!!!! _ is a dark blue-green and it's poofy in a really awesome way, with rivers of stars spilling across it. A book snaps into your hand in a shower of sparkles - 

And a lot of books sparkle into being in front of you.

...That. Is definitely a whole bunch. You can barely see the top if you tilt your head way back, and it's wider than you are tall a bunch of times over.

How are you supposed to get this many books somewhere? You're in one of the river parks, so you're kind of nearby people, but what if it  _ rains _ \- 

You saw a magical girl levitating some stuff once. How hard can that be?

-

An hour later, you're feeling tired and irritable and kind of like your high has worn off. It's now nighttime. You groan and flop onto the ground. You picked this part of the park because no one comes here, and, true to form, no one has showed up - 

"Wu! Han Wu!" you hear a voice in the distance. Sounds like your stepmother. Sounds like your stepmother when she's  _ worried _ . Argh!

You scramble up and hide behind the books.

"Han Wu! Where'd that silly girl get to…" your stepmother calls. She's getting closer. A few footsteps, and - "Well what's this? A bunch of books! Out in the middle of the park." A pause, and - "Whoever's books these are, I'm looking for my daughter, Han Wu! Have you seen her?"

You curl up, frowning. You're not her daughter! Your real mom was a really good poet, not this… This paperwork girl who didn't even score as well on the examinations as your father. You don't  _ like her _ .

There's more footsteps, and your stepmother must spot you, because she breathes out heavily. "Wu! There you are! I've been worried sick - are you okay?" she calls, rushing over in her short little stride. " - What's that you're wearing?"

You shrug. You don't know where the messenger got off to, so you can't just point at it.

_ "I'm still here, Wu," _ the messenger thinks at you.  _ "In the tree. Your stepmother can't see me, because she doesn't have potential _ ."

You glance over, and yes, there's that flash of white.

"I made a wish," you mumble. "For lotsa books."

Your stepmother sighs, and puts a hand on your shoulder. "Well, this is certainly more books than I've ever seen anywhere!" She sounds even more worried now. "Come on, let's get you inside - you must be freezing!"

You haven't felt the cold since you wished. You shake your head. "But my books!" you protest.

"There's twelve magical girls stationed in this city, outside of the Palace," she says, voice that kind of hard that means the won't let you argue with her. "And I know for a fact the one for our district is still awake. She can help us, at least to protect the books from the rain, and we can hire someone to haul them to our house tomorrow, alright?"

You pout, but - getting to actually meet the magical girl here sounds really really cool!

You glance over at the messenger.  _ "Can you tell her that? The district's magical girl?" _ you think, somewhat awkwardly.

The messenger tilts its head.  _ "You can message her yourself, now. But I'll pass on the message!" _

"The messenger's letting her know," you tell your stepmother. 

"Well, that's good," she says. "How about you put on my coat until she gets here?"

"I'm fine," you protest, inching away, and glancing around. Your stepmother sighs. Soon enough, though, you can see the magical girl flying up. You recognize her sky blue outfit, sharp lines and thick cloth embroidered with flying birds. She's fifteen, and has been a magical girl for two years, the local district head for one.

"So! You're the new girl!" she calls, landing. To your stepmother: "Hey Lady Hou. This your kid?"

Your stepmother smiles. "My husband's, by his first wife."

"Eh, good enough." The magical girl stretches. "So, what's your name?" she asks you. "I'm Lady Fang."

"I'm Han Wu," you say. 

"Lady Han, good to meet you," she says, voice agreeable. "These books your doing?"

You nod. "I wished for books on  _ everything _ about medicine."

Lady Fang blinks. "Eh?" she says, glancing over again. "Wow. Didn't know there were that many books on that…"

You shake your head. " _ Everything _ . 'cluding stuff we don't know yet."

The magical girl turns back to you, whistling. "That's… I can think of a lot of scientists who'll be really excited."

"I remembered there being a list of stuff the empire needed!" you say, bouncing. "So I wished for stuff the empire could use!"

Lady Fang grins. "Good on you! How about we get these settled in at my office - I should have enough space inside - and tomorrow morning we wake up Lady Liang to get you some training, alright?"

You hum. That's maybe sensible… But these are  _ your _ books.


	3. 1b - Predawn

"Alright," you say. "But I get to read them whenever, okay?"

She laughs and nods. "Of course. Not denying you your wish." She glances at the stack and furrows her brow. "Why don't you and Lady Hou walk on over, while I fly these?"

You pout, both at not being invited along to fly and at being asked to walk with your stepmom, but going by the amount of time you spent trying to levitate the books… You nod.

Lady Fang grins. "Good. Always like sensible new girls…" she mutters, then gestures at the books. A light blue energy passes from her hand to surround them, and they raise up neatly into the air alongside her as she takes off. "See you there!"

You wave, and she's off. The walk to her office is fortunately short, and you arrive to see her issuing instructions about keeping your books safe. They seem to have taken over a building. Lady Fang turns when you arrive, says, "Hey guys! We've got a bit of paperwork and stuff, just registering you, and I've got a rundown to give you both, then I'll let you go get some sleep, alright?"

"That sounds lovely. I'm really sorry to be imposing on you at this time," your stepmother says, following Lady Fang's gestures into a side room.

"Ah, it's no problem. My job and all, and usually I'm just using this time to catch up on reading - one of the tricks I figured is not sleeping, leaves me a lot of time…" she trails off, sweeping in and dumping a thin packet of papers in front of the two of you and then fetching some tea from a little stove.

You need help filling out the paperwork - you can write your name and address, and a few words, but you don't know all of these words nor how to write everything here. But it's done soon enough.

"Good, good," Lady Fang says. "Be back here tomorrow morning, right around dawn, okay? And I'll get little miss magical girl here over to Lady Liang's. Before that… This isn't to be spread around, but - " Her expression goes serious. "Magical girls don't have infinite magic. Everything we do - even just living - burns a little bit. Your mood can make you use magic less carefully, and if you're really upset… That can burn magic on its own. If you run out, you die. Magic doesn't renew on its own over time, but you can clear your soul gem with what's called a 'grief seed.' We'll provide you with ones. Witches drop them, as well. Also: you are now a soul piloting a body. Your soul is housed in your soul gem; if it's destroyed, so are you. If you're careful, you can change your seat of consciousness to a different, empty body, but that's hard to do without it costing a lot. Don't use magic frivolously - for now, don't use  _ any _ outside of training, until Lady Liang clears you. Don't run off to fight witches on your own - report to me if you sense one, okay?"

You nod. Wow, that's really a lot. You hadn't known that, about magic running out…

"Now," Lady Fang says, "Your magic feels a bit low. You were using some before I came, weren't you?"

You sink into your chair, mumble, "Maybe…"

She smiles. "It's okay. You didn't know. For now - here." She pulls a black gem encased in sharp silver filigree out of her pocket. "This is a grief seed. It's fairly empty, so it'll be safe for a while - if they're left sitting around, they can hatch into new witches. The messengers can tell when they're getting dangerous, and take them away to be destroyed." She pauses, and - "There's some more, but Lady Liang will go over it with you tomorrow."

"Thank you Lady Fang!" you say, taking the grief seed. You stare at it, wondering. It feels… Sad, and angry too. You bring it closer to your soul gem, a blue-green stone surrounded by silver swirls, and some of the darkness on your gem flows off. It glows brighter, while the grief seed… If there's such a thing as un-glowing, that's what it's doing right now. Angrily.

Lady Fang ushers you both off to your house after that. Unfortunately, you haven't figured out the no-sleep trick, and are cowed by her warning about not wasting magic, so you go to sleep shortly after getting home (and bouncing at your father about what happened, and eating the treats your father lets you have, over your stepmother's sighing). 

The next day, your father drops you off, greats Lady Fang warmly, and leaves you to be led to the Imperial Palace. Which - !!!

Apparently Lady Liang is one of the Empress's right hands, and she starts new recruits out on the complex's grounds. You're not the only one there; there's over fifty other girls, who're all older than you - the youngest is maybe nine, the oldest maybe sixteen. Lady Liang is an imposing magical girl, one of those really old ones who've stopped aging. Her dress falls to her knees in clean lines, and is white like the Empress's - except unlike the Empress, Lady Liang has red speckles spreading out to red borders, and her hair is the same shade of red. You think that's maybe the color of blood.

She puts her hands on her hips when Lady Fang drops you off with a cheerful parting wave, and glares over the assembled girls. "Some of you have heard this speech before. But, for our newbies - you were told magical girls who run out of magic die. That's wrong, unless it's because I killed you. Magical girls? Turn into  _ witches _ . Most of you do. Fifty, for every one that survives to her second year. They turn, because they're all fucking idiots who can't manage their magic. I have the lowest turn-rate of any trainer in the Empire, and I don't expect you little brats to mess up my ratios, alright?"

You gulp, and nod.

Fifty is a  _ really big number _ .

That's most of the girls here!

"Now, you're all from Lin'an," Lady Liang continues. "We're the biggest city in the world, and that means the most new contracts, and the most witches. Anyone who tries to fight a witch on their own will be disciplined. Anyone who uses major magic without authorization will be disciplined. Anyone who  _ back talks  _ will be  _ disciplined. _ Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Lady Liang!" you chorus with the others, back straight and eyes wide.

She pauses. "Good. Now, our newbies…" There's three of you who're new. She has you give your wishes (the other two… They don't sound like they made sensible wishes. Food for one, money for the other, when you know from your father that magical girls have plenty of both), then says, "Most magical girls find they have a talent. Something they're less inefficient at. Usually it's related to their wish, though sometimes oddly. We might not find out what your wishes are today, but I'm going to try. Alright?"

"Alright!" you dutifully chorus, then start to think.

You're pretty sure you have a sense of your talent already, actually…


	4. 1c - Predawn

Lady Liang doesn't give you much time to contemplate. You're quickly put into columns and rows, and given your ranking. You're a newbie, at the front where she can keep an eye on you. The students she trusts more are at the back. 

The first exercise she puts you through is conjuring and dismissing your weapon. Over and over and  _ over _ again. To start, yours doesn't seem to have a set form, not like your neighbors, the other two newbies - a changdao (which you have to be told the name of, it's bigger than the girl wielding it) and a qinglong ji (which you also have to be told the name of; you initially thought it was a fangtian ji like Lady Fang's…). You have, well,  _ paper _ . Folded paper - zhezhi, your mom called it, with what looks like cut-out patterns, and you feel like you could probably control paper in your surroundings, too. A sword, a staff, a spear, a shield - a bow's harder, it keeps unfolding when you pull it, and Lady Liang tells you to try throwing knives instead.

One of your neighbors, the changdao girl, heckles you for fighting with paper once when Lady Liang isn't looking.

Once.

She doesn't make that mistake again.

Lady Liang is  _ scary _ .

She uses that to give a lecture about how weapon styles can indicate something of a girl's personality, and therefore her specialty, but not her power, nor even whether she's more deadly at range or in melee. Weapons are powered by magic. A small knife can do more damage than the largest axe. And most people can develop some flexibility with their weapon - usually you have to stick to the same theme or category, but different styles of the same spear are entirely possible. 

She shows off, then. Her weapon is a serrated knife - which she turns into a sword with a smooth blade and a spiked handguard. "This," she says, "Can blow a hole in a witch no matter which shape I have it in. The sword shape is a better basis for low-cost barriers, the knife for high-strength barriers, but that and aesthetic are the only differences."

You nod, fascinated, and soon enough she moves you to sparring with each other - using only your weapons. Since there's three of you, she just sets you all against each other. The girl with the changdao trips herself, and gets yelled at by Lady Liang because your weapon is a  _ projection  _ of  _ yourself _ and is  _ only where you intend it to be. _

...Something about that pings in your mind, and you very quickly figure out how to make your paper foul up your other opponent's ji, a paper shield spinning out to wrap around her weapon. She shouts, appears to have briefly forgotten she can just dismiss it - 

\- And you punch her in the stomach.

You're small and it's not a  _ hard _ punch and you hurt your knuckles because you've never even roughhoused before, but she stumbles, surprised, and Lady Liang immediately calls the match in your favor.

The girl you punched (you still don't know her name) complains about you cheating.

"There is no such thing as cheating," Lady Liang says, voice harsh. "Only winning. Or losing, I suppose."

...That does not sound like what your father's taught you but you're not going to argue with the scary lady.

She does a detailed breakdown of everything the three of you did wrong - reading between the lines, you think your performance boils down to 'impressive for a newbie, but still: new at this,' while your opponents were 'honestly probably average' (ji) and 'hopeless' (changdao).

Lady Liang wraps up the lesson soon, warns you all again about not telling anyone about witches or soul gems, and then dismisses you all.

You run up to the other two new girls, smiling brightly, and bow slightly. "That was a good fight! I'm Han Wu!"

"Bah. Go away, squirt," changdao girl spits. "I'm not interested in being friends."

You wilt slightly, then look at ji girl. She hesitates, then says, "Ah. That trick with the shield was very good, and I'm sorry I said you cheated. I'm Bai An. Would you like to study together?"

You smile wider, and, ignoring changdao girl, start walking out with Bai An. "We're not supposed to use magic outside of class, but I don't mind discussing things!"

Bai An glances around, then, quietly, "Ah. I just… Don't think we'll get better fast enough, if we're only practicing in class… I'm really worried, about how few of us will make it…"

You bite your lip, hesitating. That is maybe a good point...


	5. 1.d - Predawn

For all that practicing is important, you don't want to break the rules like this - especially not so soon. But stuff doesn't have to be one or the other, so - "Maybe we can practice with someone watching? The magical girl in charge of my district, Lady Fang, is really nice," you say to Bai An.

She frowns. Then: "I guess… But if she says no, it'll be harder to get away with practicing in secret, since someone'll know what we're doing."

"If we get caught we'll be in  _ so much trouble _ ," you say, "And we'll get caught." You feel pretty sure of that.

Bai An sighs. "I guess. I have to go tell my parents where I'm going, but they said I don't have any chores anymore since I gotta focus on being a magical girl, so I'm free this evening. Today good?"

You nod. "Yeah!" You give her your address, and then the two of you part ways with a wave.

-

Lady Fang agrees to supervise you easily enough, which makes you feel better about the whole thing. You weren't sure what Bai An might get up to if left to her own devices… 

She sets you guys in her garden, warns you to be careful, and then starts doing paperwork with a grumble. You're not really looking forward to that part of being an established magical girl. She seems to have more stuff to do than your dad!

You and Bai An get really good at tricks with your weapons, and you finally get to try out controlling some paper that you didn't conjure. It's fun! You got a book on paper folding from your mom's stuff when you went home, and trying to make all the little designs without touching the paper is  _ neat _ . Though hard, and you find yourself getting tired and depressed and frustrated at one of the more complex bits - 

Which is when Lady Fang reminds you both to clear your soul gems.

You feel much better after that.

Huh.

Getting low… You hadn't really  _ noticed _ , and it hit your mood  _ fast _ .

This… Might be a problem, in the future.

-

Two days later, Lady Liang pulls your group of three aside. "I'm going to teach you all how to douse for witches. Do not abuse this. You'll be watching me fight one, and helping fight if it's safe. I'll help you clear your soul gems afterwards, too."

"Yes ma'am!" you three all chorus, even the changdao girl whose name you still don't know. You and Bai An used Bai An's family's connections to get ahold of some normal practice weapons, so you've had some more practice that didn't need supervision, but…

Fighting a witch, well… 


	6. 1e - Predawn

You're certain you want to play support, to back up your teammates' attacks like Lady Liang talked about. Bai An has turned out to be pretty good at offense, and changdao girl's good at defense - you guys are really well balanced for a random selection of girls who entered the Academy on the same day. The  _ newest _ newbies, two girls who entered the day after you and one who entered today, didn't have nearly as much luck.

But…

You're kind of determined, to fight witches and protect the people, though…

Mostly, you're  _ afraid _ .

This is your third day in the Academy. Your fourth day of being a magical girl. You're kind of intensely aware that you're seven, and very small and fragile, in a way a lot of other girls your age and older really don't seem to be. It's not that you're a naturally scared person, no matter how much you got teased for not wanting to even jump from small heights as a kid, it's…

Six girls have disappeared from the Academy in  _ three days _ . Lady Liang's been in a bad mood about it. Apparently an unsupervised witch hunt got three of them directly, that hunt's survivor witched a few hours later, and two just… Didn't manage their emotions or magic right, from the quickly hushed rumors you overheard.

Lady Liang will be there.

That doesn't mean none of you will die, or witch, or even just get injured.

Changdao girl is bouncing, eyes narrow and jaw set, while Bai An is biting her lip, fingers twitching at her side.

"Thank you for this opportunity!" Bai An blurts out after a moment.

Lady Liang snorts. "I wouldn't be taking you brats out at all if it was up to me. You're not ready. Which is why you'll be focusing on environmental awareness, and on keeping each other safe." She pauses, sweeps her hard gaze over you three. "If any of you die or witch I'll drag you out of your graves myself. Got it?"

You all nod quickly and possibly excessively.

Lady Liang frowns, says, "Let's move out," and then leads you out of the training hall.

Dousing, at least, turns out to be easy, though there's a feeling like wailing that makes you stumble when you first focus on it. Identifying  _ where _ it's coming from is like locating a scream on the wind.

Changdao girl's good at it, and gets a witch first. She's still bouncing, hand tightening and loosening and tightening again around the long shaft of her sword as you all walk. 

You kind of understand it. There's a fluttering in your chest, a cold sweat on your back, and itch to do something - 

You're not exactly sure why she's acting the way she is, though. Older girls are confusing.

Lady Liang lets the other magical girls know you guys have this one handled, then points out the shimmer of air when you all get to the park it's drifted into. She then has each of you practice opening the portal into the barrier - and  _ not _ opening it, since if you don't pay attention it just happens automatically. The glow of the lines - a complicated radially symmetrical thing containing sigils you can't read - is bright, in each of your colors. Pinkish white for Lady Liang, orangish brown for Bai An, and purple for changdao girl. The symbol in the middle kind of looks like a stylized plum blossom surrounded by spikes.

You all file in after Lady Liang, and you shiver when you see the inside of the labyrinth. Lady Liang said usually there's at least two layers or areas - probably only two, for a witch this size. Outer and inner.

This outer area's bad on its own. It looks like someone had a really bad nightmare about the lane of plum blossoms in the garden-park near the palace - you  _ recognize _ the animal statues looming out of the shadows, even if they're twisted -

And moving. That's a thing they're doing.

There's more in the background, twisted things of twigs and flowers that shed their petals and run around, but those seem to be ignoring you, unlike the statue familiars.

"Stay calm," Lady Liang says. Great advice. If only you could follow it. "These aren't a threat. You three, take down the ones on the right. I've got ahead and left."

There's fewer on the right, and they're smaller, but before you three can really prepare they're leaping, the stone tiger going for Bai An, the salamander charging changdao girl, and a phoenix swooping at you.

You shriek, and fall back a bit. Your paper whirls in front of you, blocking the bird's strike with a rustle and a soft thump. It shrieks, like someone scratching metal along the stone, and tries to come at you again. You quickly fold a paper cat, and set it to trying to catch the stone bird - 

It's silly but it's the best your panicked mind could think of. The cat's not doing much, but you don't want to spend more magic…

It's distracting the bird, though, and that gives you enough time to breath, and then create a whirlwind of paper to cover the tiger and salamander's eyes. That actually seems to work to blind them, and changdao girl cuts down the salamander with a shout and a laugh once it stops dodging her. She then turns, and starts in on your phoenix.

You keep up harrying the tiger and phoenix, until they're both dead. Bai An grins at you when the familiars are all dead, and then turns to Lady Liang, who finished off  _ hers _ a bit ago and is watching you three. It makes something squirm awkwardly in your stomach. 

"You three have a good sense of teamwork," is all Lady Liang says. "Keep an eye on your magic use. Huang Jie, you especially. Put less into your attacks."

"Yes ma'am," changdao girl says. Huh. Guess that's her name.

"Let's keep going," Lady Liang says.

The other fights are less eventful now that you know what to expect, and some of your nervousness is fading. Lady Liang walks you all through how to navigate the labyrinth, and then lets you three lead. 

You almost get into four separate arguments with Huang Jie and two with Bai An but something about the way Lady Liang is looking at you makes that feel like a bad idea.

You eventually come to an arch. The air around it feels heavy, and there's a ringing in your ears - 

You step through, and hear the flute.

There's a statue of a girl facing away from you, playing a flute. You pause, breath caught in your throat - 

And she turns. 

Her face is a dragon's, and her head cracks open as she roars at you, her spine lengthening. She rises, swaying, still playing her flute even as more arms emerge.

"Keep the familiars off of me!" Lady Liang calls, rushing forwards to the battle.

You jump, and then look around, heart pounding - 

And there's little girls made of flowers, missing their legs, dragging themselves by their front arms towards you. One's face splits open the wrong way, side-to-side instead of up-and-down at a mouth, and she shrieks like the wind in the trees, and flings herself forwards.

Bai An spears her, you trip another one that's jumping - 

And then there's a  _ lot _ of shrieking (some of it's probably yours) and the flower girls swarm.

You're really not able to pay more than snippets of attention to Lady Liang's fight for a while, but when you finish most of the familiars you turn, and notice she's barely bothering with offense or defense, just dodging. She glances back at you all, then calls out, "Pay attention to this," and closes with the flute girl, whose music has gotten louder and faster.

Flute girl sends a blast that ripples through the air and slams into her own labyrinth, tearing apart the network of branches cradling the inner area and sending petals and twigs flying that gather into  _ more _ flower girls. Lady Liang weaves between her attacks, deflecting one with a gesture and a slash of red, and when she reaches the flute girl her knife digs into the flute itself, cutting the stone like it's weaker than your paper. Lady Liang flips out of the way of another blast, then throws more knives into the flute from above.

You're distracted again by the flower girls, but you're able to catch glimpses of Lady Liang… Basically putting the flute witch through her paces. Showing off a lot of abilities she's described before, and forcing the flute witch to use a bunch of different things, so Lady Liang can show off how to deal with them.

Lady Liang finishes the flute witch by cutting off both her hands, and the witch crumbles into dust, and the barrier dissolves. You're the one who finds the grief seed (not that Lady Liang is really looking). It's a purplish black, spherical, with the spiky plum blossom from the entrance portal on two sides, and sharp points on both ends. Lady Liang has all three of you use it to clear your soul gems - though you're still shaking, and you don't feel as happy as you did the last few times you cleared, but the wave of despair hovering over your shoulder's gone. You're tired, and a bit injured, but you can almost feel the pain and fatigue receeding.

"Good job," Lady Liang says, and it makes something in your chest glow. "You all did well. I want you three to think about this overnight, then tomorrow we'll talk about what happened."

"Yes ma'am!" you all chorus, and she dismisses you.

You glance over at changdao girl - Huang Jie. She's been distant or outright mean a lot, but…

Maybe the fight changed that.


	7. 1f - Predawn

While you're tempted… It's a pretty easy decision to not go talk to her. You have better stuff to do with your time. Like reading your books! You've had a chance to kind of skim over them, but they're not really in any order and there's scientist people busy with them a lot. You have a few hours before bedtime now, though, so you say goodbye to Bai An and head over to Lady Fang's.

The books… There's still a  _ lot _ , more than you've ever seen in one place, and there's talk of moving them to a special building off the imperial library. They'll have to build it first, though, and there's weird political stuff about sticking books in the imperial library - something about limiting access? - so for now they're continuing to take over Lady Fang's conference room.

You've never been to the imperial library and you're not actually sure you'd be allowed in even now as a magical girl, so maybe the science people who don't want the books moved have a point.

There's a whole seven science people in the room when you arrive. One, a man with greying hair, turns to you and smiles, asking, "What can I do for you, little lady?" (You're in your magical girl dress, which you've hardly left since wishing, so you're recognizable pretty easily.)

"I wanna read some of the books," you say, bouncing a bit.

He laughs, and says, "We're still figuring out which topics go where, unfortunately - why don't you help us with that? We're using colored bookmarks now, the system's on the wall…"

You puff your cheeks out a bit - you'd wanted to  _ read _ \- but you guess this is really important. And you'll still be able to read some when you find basic stuff.

You take a stack of bookmarks, a magnifying glass, wool gloves so your finger oil doesn't damage anything, a notebook for writing unknown words in, and a small stack of books, and settle in. 

...You get up to get a dictionary five minutes later. 

This might take a while, but eventually between identifying keywords and bookmarking stuff - each book isn't even on one topic, and they skip around a lot, with short little entries in no particular order - you wrestle some stuff that makes sense to you out of it. There's a  _ lot _ of bones. Two hundred and eight! You probably have more, there's two hundred and seventy at birth and a lot of stuff doesn't fuse until puberty. There's also a lot of muscles, over six hundred, and most of them are in pairs… You didn't know muscles can't push limbs around, only pull them, but it makes sense even if you've found a bunch of words that aren't in the dictionary and none of the scientists know explaining exactly why. Apparently figuring out what the books are even referring to a lot of the time is really hard, and people suspect your wish might've made up words when it couldn't find existing ones for concepts.

The book has pictures, which help, but some of them seem to be for stuff so small no one's ever seen it, and there's only really vague clues where that stuff is in the body.

You get through your little stack by the time you have to head home. The scientists thank you for helping, and you nod carefully, like all the knowledge might spill out of your ears if you move too fast. You have a lot of a headache.

Home's uneventful, and the next few days go decently. You mostly focus on reading your books. There's some new girls who join the Academy, slightly less who die or witch. Two of the girls who joined after you die - one gets killed by Lady Liang when she gets in danger of witching and refuses to clear her gem, one witches  _ then _ gets killed by Lady Liang.

You're not sure you ever ever  _ ever _ want to be a magical girl teacher.

Your grief seed got full enough you had to give it back to Lady Fang, so you and Bai An have had to be more careful practicing. Lady Fang says she doesn't have too many extras, and that you'll get some later as Lady Liang trusts you to witch-hunt more, so you haven't gotten a second, and you've only been on two other witch hunts since.

Bai An pulls you aside, though, and says - "Look, Han Wu, I  _ know _ you're really cautious and that's good - but we need to practice.  _ Properly.  _ I think… I think we need to go on a hunt on our own. Get a grief seed. The witches haven't been too scary, and I'm really good at telling how big witches are I think, and the messenger said he'd help us out and that it's a good idea to stretch ourselves."

You frown. The messenger hasn't really been talking to you at all…


	8. 1g - Predawn

...Even if the messenger thinks this is a good idea, you have  _ no idea _ why Bai An doesn't think this is the horrible, terrible idea it really is. You haven't seen it - but you guys aren't the first to try an unsupervised hunt. It hasn't ended well that you've heard. And if Lady Liang  _ catches _ you…

"You  _ can't _ ," you say, eyes wide, throat tight. "You - you'll die - or make Lady Liang mad - "

"She won't know. And she didn't even do anything last fight! I heard she was even talking about having us supervised by another trainee - " Bai An continues, fists clenched and jaw set.

You shake your head. "Then wait! We're going on a hunt every other day now, there - there aren't that many grief seeds around -  _ only one in fifty girls survive their first year and I don't want you to die. _ "

Bai An narrows her eyes. "I  _ won't _ , because I'm going to  _ practice _ , and I'll have a grief seed - the way they don't let us have grief seeds, that practically guarantees some of us will end up too low and witch!"

"Not if we do what we're told!" you protest. 

"You can't always just follow the rules! They're not  _ for _ us!" Bai An says, voice rising in volume and pitch.

"They're for everyone! They're the reason - haven't you learned about history, about everywhere else in the world - most places no one gets training! Even here, magical girls used to just kill or drive off or hurt other girls they met, instead of working together - the Empress and the rules are the whole reason we're not  _ like that!" _ Your vision is blurring, your cheeks red and your skin tight.

"I'm going." Bai An stomps her foot. "You can stay behind, I won't  _ drag _ you, but if it's a bad decision it's my bad decision!"

You rub at your eyes, turn around, and run.

You don't know what you're doing at first - 

Until you realize your steps have taken you to Lady Liang's office. She opens the door as you approach, eyes narrow and expression serious. "What is it?" she asks.

Your breath catches in your throat - are you really going to tattle - but Bai An might die or  _ worse -  _

"It's Bai An," you blurt. "She said she's gonna go fight a witch on her own."

And Lady Liang - 

She doesn't look mad, or furious, or incandescent, not like you expected.

She looks  _ tired. _

She rubs at her face, sighs, and says, "How long ago was this?"

You bite your lip - you're really not sure, but going by how far where you were from where here is - "Maybe ten minutes?"

"Then she won't have gotten far, especially since I haven't taught you idiots how to fly yet." Lady Liang steps out, and gestures for you to follow. "Come on."

You hesitate - Bai An will obviously know you tattled, but you don't want that confrontation - and Lady Liang's harsh features soften ever so slightly. "Look, kid - Han Wu - you're going to have this fight a lot if you survive long enough. Girls who make it past their first month are usually a bit more sensible… But we're not really selected for being level-headed, and you have a good chance of ending up in leadership somewhere. You did the right thing, telling me. Now you need to face your actions."

You nod, a bit miserably, and follow.

Lady Liang doesn't run, not like you thought she would - not like you want to right now. She walks, quickly and determinedly, and no one dares stop her, but she's still  _ walking _ . 

"What are you going to do?" you ask, quietly, almost scared of what might happen to Bai An.

"I won't kill her. She'll be miserable for a while, especially since she's a bit pampered, but she'll survive a bit longer yet." She huffs. "Hopefully I can keep her busy enough she doesn't get any  _ more  _ bright ideas."

You shuffle, feeling awkward. Lady Liang's weird, and the different little pieces you've seen of her don't add up well. Most people make sense - Huang Jie's angry and resentful, Bai An's anxious and impulsive, your dad's distracted and caring, your stepmother's anxious and smothering, your mom was supportive and imaginative. Lady Liang… She's mean a lot. She's ruthless a lot. But… She doesn't really always act like it.

"Why?" you ask after a long pause. You don't know how to articulate all the things you're asking why for.

She just sighs. "Why am I so mean, or why am I so involved? Most other trainers don't really bother with their girls that much, you know. And they usually have smaller classes - if you ever get famous please pester the Empress to assign me some damn assistants who're actually worth anything. Standard protocol is to let unstable girls witch without interference, and collect the grief seed. There's been some debate if prolonging how long a girl goes before she witches makes for a better yield - the grief seeds are definitely bigger, but the jury's still out on if that's worth the resources."

You're kind of stunned. But - "Then why kill that girl who was going to witch?" you ask, kind of distantly.

Lady Liang shakes her head. "Because bureaucrats need to fucking remember we're people and not numbers. You ever paid attention? Close attention? To how witches feel? People claim they're not aware, or they're not actually people anymore, but - I wouldn't wish  _ being a witch _ on my worst enemy. And I've pestered the messengers - and traveled - enough to know some places manage  _ way _ better than one magical girl for a hundred thousand mundanes, meaning however they're managing witching and grief seeds it's better than us."

You nod, slowly. "Ah…" you say. "...Thank you. For talking to me. And helping."

She glances away, shrugging. "Just stay alive, kid."

"...I don't really know how to promise that," you say. "Keeping up hope's hard." You got the talk about two kinds of magic, hope and despair, and keeping hope above despair - you can get despair down with grief seeds, but your mood doesn't really feel in your control.

"Biggest trick I ever learned? Don't get sad, get angry," Lady Liang says with a wry grin. "It's more if you're moving forward or if you're staying still. And 'punching the universe in the face' is a better motivation for staying on your feet than 'believing it'll get better on its own' is."

You smile a bit. That does sound like a very Lady Liang thing to say… Though maybe you won't share that with Bai An just yet. She doesn't really need more encouragement to get frustrated.

Lady Liang catches up with Bai An soon after that - the other girl doesn't seem to have been moving very quickly - and knocks her off her feet with a shout. The lecture that follows almost blisters your ears, and makes you blush. That's… A lot of bad words you haven't heard before.

Once Bai An seems cowed enough, Lady Liang grabs her ear and starts dragging her back to the Academy, grumbling something about teaching her the value of hard work and  _ obeying orders damn it. _

You follow, at a loss for what else to do, wilted a bit from the dirty look Bai An sent you. Lady Liang turns her over to who you think is the stable master, and then turns to you. There's a searching look on her face.

"I  _ was  _ considering moving you three up," she says, bluntly. "Your teamwork's good, even if you don't all get along. But Bai An has proven she isn't mature enough. So I'll give you a choice - move into a more advanced segment, and leave your friend behind. Or stay where you're at, and keep your little group together."

You're taken aback by that, and quickly start to think.


	9. Interlude - Art of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could have been... And is, somewhere.

Your name is Narangerel, though that isn't what will be written in the annals of history. You're frustrated by your dwindling life. The nearest Khan favors you, and has been talking about taking you under his wing, and it's better than slowly dying on the steppes, but...

You turn to the messenger, and think, deliberately, frustratingly slowly - 

You have an infant son, and while those of any gender can wish among your people potential doesn't carry across family, and he'll need protection - 

Your people are in constant danger, and disrespected besides - 

You have heard the stories, of course. The wishes that have changed the fate of your people - the ones that have strengthened their herds, the magicals who adopt nonhuman bodies, the magicals who turn the tide of a band for months or years or decades...

"Could I wish to expand the protection on our people? To make us longer lived, or more resistant to disease..." you ask.

_ "You don't have enough potential for that. Your wish needs to be something you care about greatly. Your deepest desire," _ the messenger responds.

You try a few more iterations -

But whether it's a lack of potential, or a mere lack of passion, you can't get anything useful, anything grand for them. You can't get mind control, or probability manipulation. You don't  _ care  _ enough about the abstract good of your people, even as you would name it one of your greatest goals given unlimited power.

You care about getting out of here. About reaching your hand out, and grasping whatever you want. About building a better world, sure - but about being the one leading the horde. 

"Messenger, I have my wish," you say. You can't change your fate directly… But you can change yourself.

Magicals can improve their bodies effectively endlessly.

They  _ can't _ improve their minds.

_ "Oh? With what hope will your soul gem shine?" _ the messenger asks - somehow, you have a sense this one is female, too.

"I wish to be able to master any skill I set my mind to, with a speed greater than any other, and for this to be intrinsic to my mind." It's vague, but your intent's firmly in her mind, and something with wiggle room seems most likely to go through.

You don't want to magically know things. You want your mind to actually work _ that quickly. _

_ "An interesting wish," _ the messenger says - 

And the wish goes through.

The power rushes through you - your mind's like crystal, like the sharpest of winds - a world of possibilities, of hope unfolds in your mind's eye - everything is reachable, everything obtainable, if only you can grasp it - 

And then you crash, and you're trapped in your body again (no, in the delicate casing for your soul...), the vistas of eternal opportunity closed to you but your perfect mind remembers, knows what it feels like to see a world at your whim -

Your raiment settles over you, red like blood and embroidered with black like death, traditional robes cut close to your flesh before flaring out around your hips, the dense embroidery telling a story of a bird rising and falling and rising again, in flame and out of ruin...

You can't form words, not now. Not for the enormity of this.

You might not have that infinite reach, not anymore.

But you  _ will. _


	10. 1g - Predawn

This is, as far as you can tell, the hardest decision you've ever made. You freeze, trying to think - and Lady Liang lets you.

You've barely known Bai An for any length of time at all - it's felt kind of long, but… You don't super know much about her. Sure, you two have studied together some, and you'd call her your friend, but… 

But you're not sure you'd easily make new friends if you did advance - the advanced students are mostly older, girls with better control over themselves and their magic. Bai An's eleven, and she treats you a lot more like her peer than even a lot of the nine and ten year olds in class. You think Huang Jie's attitude towards you's a lot more likely to be common…

And you don't want to be the type of person who abandons friends for her own advancement, you don't think, even if moving forward to new things is  _ really tempting. _

"I think I want to stay behind," you say, quietly, after far too long a pause.

Lady Liang nods. You can't really read her expression. "Alright. I'll still do what I can to get you tutoring - but you're in no rush, and it might be better to use your free time to study. Knowing what you're doing makes most things easier."

"So - like reading the medicine books?" you ask.

"Yes, exactly - that'll mostly help healing, and improving your own body." She shrugs. "I wouldn't go messing with your body until you have a better idea what you're doing, but it's easier to undo changes than if you mess up healing something. Cheaper, too."

"Thank you," you say - both for the opportunity, even if you turned it down, and the advice. "And - ah, I should really be getting back home…"

She waves you off. "Sure. You're dismissed, kid - I have enough paperwork anyways…"

You thank her again, then scurry on home.

-

The next day, Bai An's cold to you, and the day after that, and not even going on a witch hunt supervised only by an older, more advanced girl, helps get her shoulders down from around her ears.

...To your  _ complete shock _ , you arrive the third day after you and Bai An's fight to see Huang Jie yelling at her. Bai An's hunched in on herself, and the fourteen-year-old Huang Jie is leaning into her space. You hesitate - don't really hide, but you don't make yourself obvious, and listen in.

"She saved your life you complete  _ idiot _ ," seems to be Huang Jie's current spiel. "I know you're freaking out about this whole bullshit, that's no excuse to go listening to that fluffy asshole - seriously, what's wrong with you, trusting anyone who offers you power - "

"You've said that five times," Bai An snips back. 

"Because you keep not listening!" Huang Jie throws her hands up in the air. "Ugh! Look, you're gonna get yourself killed someday because you're an idiot, can you at least  _ try _ to make it more than a week or two?"

"I'm not an idiot!" Bai An protests. "The messenger thought practicing was a good idea - he said  _ most _ fight witches on their own, and there's somewhere where every girl's first fight is solo and they survive more than us - "

"Oh, like he can't lie - ," Huang Jie interrupts, hands on her hips.

"The messengers don't  _ lie! _ Everyone knows that!" Bai An clenches her fists and narrows her eyes.

"And I've got some fine land to sell you on a beautiful island," Huang Jie says with a snort. "Anyways, stop being a dumbass. I don't super care if you decide you need to fly solo and never have any friends, but I'd appreciate you two not spewing your drama everywhere."

Bai An huffs, and looks away, and the silence between them drags out just long enough you feel comfortable letting them know you're there. Not that you were eavesdropping, but, well -

Both of them glance away from you, Bai An looking down and shuffling her feet, Huang Jie with a huff.

You smile, and try to not make it any  _ worse _ .

You think you should maybe give Bai An a bit more time, but - 

"Thank you," you say to Huang Jie after school.

She blushes, looks away, and hunches her shoulders. "Eh, didn't do anything, brat. Now get out of my face."

You nod, and skip off.

You think it might be a good idea to take a break from staring in frustration at would-be friends to stare in frustration at books, for a little bit.

-

It's not until you're coming up on the third week of being a magical girl that Bai An shuffles up to you. She doesn't seem quite able to meet your gaze, and blurts out, "I'm sorry," when ask her if something's wrong. "I shouldn't have put you in the position I did."

It's your turn to shuffle awkwardly. "Ah - and I'm sorry for tattling… I didn't want you to die, but I know it was kinda mean…"

Bai An shrugs. "My dad was madder than Lady Liang. Said I got off easy. I guess… I still think it would've turned out okay, but you did what you thought was right, you know? So… I'm not gonna thank you, but I'm not mad anymore, and… I was kind of a really shitty friend after." She sticks her hand out. "So. Uh. Try being friends again?"

You nod, slowly, and then smile. "Yeah… Friends."

Bai An grins back. "So, uh, I'm in major trouble anyways and I realized we haven't really been doing non-magical-girl stuff together… Wanna come meet my family?"


End file.
